I got lost yesterday, I found myself wandering around the streets of manila at night in the rain. It seems so picturesque right? A lonesome girl with her soaked jeans and peterpan collared self, wide eyed and puzzled on where should she start, turn, and walk to. Yet suddenly it dawned on me, i was a young 20 something in manila at night, alone. And it didnt seem a good plan after all.
It was all unplanned however as my primary means of transit decided to take a turn here and there thus providing me with an ultimatum to go down and explore a bit. It was there that i realized that my love for travel and traipsing along to whatever continental surface that Id come upon was undeniable, that it wasnt just a mere addiction to collecting those dated stamps that they give you when you arrive and leave their ports of entry and exit but that it was the excitement of uncertainty and mystique that these varied versions of wonderland promised where I found myself truly living .
Where characters and versions of myself that have been living in my mind alone come into fruition at some foreign place with acceptance and in the process it brings forth the most charged and invigorating splendor to the soul that one can experience in this lifetime.
I think thats where you and I are different, you take risks and go out of your way to give people that youve barely met a chance you carry yourself fearlessly in a situation youre barely familiar with, I on the other hand pursue such risks with nature and the secrets that it brings (ie cliff diving like a cucoo), the truth is that both entities are uncontrollable though the former seems more capable than the latter, thats why i find myself whimphering in fear and basking in anxiety when it comes to people and their situations because i know they are just as capable of making things better than nature, they still have that power of control not to hurt others or to be careful with what they intend to do and imply, yet at the end of the day they still choose to be careless and be indifferent, thats why i can find myself jumping into a 15 ft cliff with my eyes open and my face smiling but never have i brought myself immediately leaping to a person and exchanging immediate niceties
We are all bound to have our fair share of wretched things in life— What sets people apart from each other is that as majority are in fear of making mistakes, of being the odd one out. And in the process become these individuals who find themselves sitting on their picket fences. Contenting themselves with the view from afar, pining to have one over the other, convincing that their “life” filled with these fleeting bouts of mini triumphs will be forever enough. Yet the people around them, the onlookers perceive their happiness to be superficial, yes noticeable on the surface yet undeniably irrelevant and lacking in depth.
The people who risk though, those who decide to jump over the fence and dance around; despite of the dangers of tripping and getting off track theyll always be known as one of the few who are adept and antithesis enough to find that balance between sanity and insanity and to pursue and define success according to what they perceive it to be rather than be defined by what society deem it ought to be.
When in truth nobody in this mundane world knows what we’re all doing some just pretend to be better than most.